it takes effort to make a marriage work
1. excitement does not mean everlasting happiness
Yes, it takes effort to make a marriage work, but it will be worth it in the end. It's so easy to believe that the grass is greener on the other side, but on deeper investigation it becomes evident that this is not always the case. Here are some reasons why you should look after whom you have got and forget about trying to forge relationships outside of your marriage:
While a secret relationship is riddled with fun, excitement and intrigue, it can never replace a relationship between two people who love each other deeply. The passion is a result of all the secrecy. However, that is where it ends. A strong relationship is built on two people who have been through good and bad times together and still managed to withstand the test of time.
If someone is prepared to disrupt your marriage by tempting you to have an affair, he or she will just as easily do it to you down the road. If he or she is prepared to be deceitful, what else can he or she be hiding from you?
Never look outside your marriage for solutions as you won’t find them there. Speak openly and frankly with your partner about your concerns and commit to each other to make the marriage work.
People talk and you don't want everyone whispering behind your back about your infidelity. You may be an important person in your community and having a fling could do a lot of harm - just look at the outfall from the Ashley Madison scandal.
You can lose everything should your impropriety result in a divorce. Think of your assets, children and everything that you have built during your marriage. Only once you have lost everything, you will realise the value of your marriage.
Imagine having to explain to your small children that they are no longer going to live with both Mom and Dad. Is casual sex really worth the heartbreak that you will cause your children?
At the end of the day, it is important to objectively consider what you have and what is on offer. Can you see yourself replacing what you have with what’s on offer? The problem is that, during an affair, people put their best foot forward. You don’t know that he or she snores, or their views on important issues. All you know is that you have hot sex and laugh a lot. Wouldn’t it benefit more people if you brought laughter, connection and commitment into what you already have?
Disclaimer : This article provides basic information only and is not a substitute for a professional or legal advice. It is prudent to obtain legal advice from a family lawyer.