why do couples fall out of love?
How many times have we heard couples say they “fell out of love” or “we just aren’t in love anymore”? Is it possible for people to “love” one day and just forget about each other and move on with life the next? Or is it just that one person cares and is still in love with the person who fell out of love with them? They may never know the answer as to why their partner does not love them anymore. In time, they will get over it, even though now it’s painful and all they have is memories.
But, the main question is: WHY do couples fall out of love? What makes two people madly in love say they don’t love each other anymore? Is it because at the beginning of a relationship people are attracted to each other’s traits, but over time their needs go unmet? Or the traits that both partners found really considerate and romantic have now become completely intolerable? To be honest, the reasons can be many, but below are some of the most common/realistic ones you need to know about:
No.1: They Weren’t in Love in the First Place
Yes, it is true. Often, people get so madly involved with each other, so crazy about one another that they get addicted to their presence. They get lost in intimacy and there is no stopping the romance. This does not mean they are in love though. This means, they are blinded by LUST! They don’t know this of course, and it sure feels like love… until expectations, responsibilities, and commitments, start to get in the way. Not to mention, goals, kids, finances, and let’s not forget the in-laws. It’s a surprise when one finds out you married each others’ families too.
No.2: They Avoid Conflict
Some couples have this habit of swallowing their feelings. This is because they’re afraid of conflict and getting into a fight. However, what they don’t realize is that problems and conflicts are a part of every healthy relationship and most importantly a sign of “love”. By suppressing their feelings, over time resentment, frustration, and hurt builds up. Then on one dull day, all these feelings come out.
Both sides get hurt, fights continue for days and then they refuse to stay with one another and say they just “fell out of love” (even though they haven’t: here’s when the “rebound” phase comes in”). Couples must understand the solution is to share their feelings. Love is more than just intimacy. It’s about developing a SOLID understanding.
No.3: Focusing on Negatives
Most couples just tend to focus on negatives. We cannot blame them though. As humans, we tend to always be or think a little negative. However, this obviously does not have a good effect on a relationship. If you find everything a person does “bad”, YOU have the problem. People do not change, it is just over time when the lust fades out, the habits of your loved one become more visible. You may like some or you may not. By contrast, switching your focus to your partner’s positives invites a return of goodwill and affection. Appreciation and gratitude enhance love, joy, and intimacy for both partners.
Disclaimer : This article provides basic information only and is not a substitute for a professional or legal advice. It is prudent to obtain legal advice from a family lawyer.