Alan Weiss

31st March, 2020

Alan Weiss developed after he experienced himself how devastating divorce proceedings can be. I witnessed firsthand my own future security, and that of my familys, being destroyed by acrimonious and costly divorce litigation. I created to help people avoid an experience like this and lose thousands of dollars. Instead the system will assist them in getting on with their lives.

Blamers can be irrational and narcissists

They typically cast around for someone to blame and never take the rap themselves. When things don’t go the blamer’s way someone else is always wrong.

Blamers are narcissists and are best avoided as they are typically also negative people who will bring you down. You may find yourself in a situation where you have a relationship with a friend or relative who is a blamer and it can be difficult to extricate yourself from such a relationship, but it is important that you do so.

You must not allow the abusive behaviour to continue. Do not allow the critical and negative behaviour to affect your life. If you can’t get yourself out of the relationship then at the very least you should set some boundaries.

We hope that this article will help you to realize the following

  • The blamer’s behaviour has nothing to do with anything that you have done
  • Only the truth is important
  • How to deal with negativity
  • How to recognize a blamer
  • How to recognize a narcissist
  • How to recognize a liar

The blamer’s behaviour has nothing to do with anything that you have done

It is hurtful when we get accused of something that we haven’t done. It’s the injustice of the situation that usually gets to us. If someone has lied, blaming you for things that you have never done, try not to dwell on it. Blamers have personal problems that have nothing to do with you.

Accusers are often filled with envy. They have self-esteem issues, and they are insecure. The only way they can overcome these feelings is to bring other people down by spreading untruths through gossip.

By hurting others, they feel better about themselves. You should pity them. They are unhappy people, finding happiness only in harming others.

Only the truth is important

You do not have to prove your innocence to others. Attempting to do so just adds fuel to the fire. The best way to overcome the negativity is to forgive and forget. This is not easy, but it is the best way to come to terms with the situation and to find inner peace.

How to deal with negativity

Do not allow negative people or blamers to affect your self-esteem. Do not take personally anything they say to or about you. You do not have to believe other’s opinions of you. You have the right to discard negative opinions. The best way to protect yourself is to believe in yourself and discard the negativity of the other.

How to recognize a blamer

Recognize a blamer and stay out of her way

  • Blamers never take responsibility for anything that they do. Instead, they are always seeking excuses for the things that happen in their lives, passing the blame onto others.
  • On the other hand, they love to take the credit.
  • Blamers are always negative. No matter how positive you are they will take the pessimistic approach.
  • Blamers are typically short-tempered.
  • Blamers are untrustworthy. Do not take them into your confidence.
  • Blamers are envious people jealous of all the good things that happen to others and gloating at the ill-luck that befalls them.

How to recognize a narcissist

Blamers often have signs of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. By understanding how to spot this behaviour we can learn to avoid people that have the disorder. We could learn coping mechanisms for dealing with people with this disorder or we may even recognize that we ourselves have a problem and can seek help.

  • Narcissists are supremely selfish, thinking only of themselves
  • They are often arrogant and rude
  • They have delusions of grandeur and feel entitled
  • They are defensive and have a high need to win an argument
  • They will seek to blame others
  • They are never wrong
  • They envy others
  • A narcissist seeks constant admiration
  • Believes that others envy him.
  • Lacks empathy.

How to recognize a liar

  • Liars will often avoid eye contact.
  • Eyes will typically move to the left when people tell lies.
  • People who are lying will lean backwards while truthful people tend to lean forward.
  • Do the words of the speaker match the actions?
  • Liars will often give far too many details.
  • Guilty people will often use sarcasm when lying.
  • Guilty people tend to be defensive.
  • People who lie often touch the nose or cover the mouth.


Your best defence against liars is to develop a reputation for honesty and integrity. If others know you as a truthful person they will be less likely to believe the lies of others.

When you partner blames for something you did not do