an insider's revelations about how it feels to be divorced
what does it feel like to be shot? what does a heart attack feel like? what does it feel like to have your insides dragged along, on the outside? that's how divorce feels.
We hear the shocking statistics about the high divorce rate, but we all like to think that we've made a better selection. We go through painstaking effort to be as prepared as possible. Surely, if we put in all the effort upfront, we will be more prepared than the average couple and that should improve our odds of making it last. When we look into one another's eyes adoringly, promising to love our partners "till death do us part", we have every intention to keep it. A lovely home, adorable babies and a wonderful life together... those things are not disposable. But what if the glow dims and our mutual adoration becomes disappointment, hurt, despair, anger, and regret?
Divorce Feels Like...A loser
How do you look everyone in the eyes, acknowledging that you have failed at the one thing that should come naturally - finding a soulmate? Heck, animals succeed at that...
Most people will offer pity, but that doesn't mean that you won't feel like a loser whenever you see a happy couple, or are invited to your boss' 20th anniversary. It's not made any better when you have to explain subjects like visitation to people with perfect marriages.
It's hard to try figure out how you went from knowing better, to being in this situation where you constantly feel the judgmental glares of the “perfect” people. Insecure friends may diss you when they perceive you as a threat, a man eater waiting to devour their husbands.
But eventually, you will see the bright side of life
You'll wake up one day and decide to no longer feel sad and mad. You'll feel strong and ready to take on the world.
You didn't set out to get divorced when you were walking down the aisle, but now you're invincible. Divorce pushes you to become stronger. You become a world class problem solver. You will develop a deeper appreciation for the people who were there for you, and for the things that really matter.
Most importantly, it will force you to get to know yourself better. You will understand your own faults, your needs and how awesome you are. You'll be spread thin, pushed to your limits and broken, but you'll arise stronger than ever before.
Disclaimer : This article provides basic information only and is not a substitute for a professional or legal advice. It is prudent to obtain legal advice from a family lawyer.