Nothing in life, not even marriage, is permanent. People who’ve experienced a sudden separation know that better than most. Divorce can come into someone’s life with the suddenness of a landslide or the slowly rising waters of a flood.
When the storm’s over, and the lawyers have departed, people find themselves with a whole new life to deal with. Maybe that means finding a new place to live or parenting three youngsters on your own. Whatever the circumstances, it’s possible to move forward. Here are some pieces of advice that might help the newly divorced thrive:
Moving past divorce means accepting that all things, good or bad, are only temporary. By acknowledging that’s true, the world becomes a much less daunting place and a divorce less devastating. By doing that, divorce is no longer the change in life but one of many. To thrive, however, this adaptability must come from within, as well as from without. If a divorced couple had children, they must learn how to alter all expectations as to how a family, or parenthood, works.
Any children involved need to adjust to this new life too. By paying them the love and attention they deserve, they can learn to move past their old ideas of family as well. In the process, they’ll learn valuable lessons about tolerance, patience, strength, and resilience.
If someone ever feels overwhelmed, it’s key that he or she hits the pause button They must take that time to observe their surroundings and breathe. In. Out. Slowly. Methodically. After a few minutes, that person will notice that the world hasn’t erupted in fire and brimstone. They’re still here. The world’s still here. Divorce did not end the world. It merely changed that person’s perception of it. This exercise will help a person feel grounded and will let them analyze his or her life from a brand-new perspective.
Divorce isn’t easy. It produces feelings of anxiety, loneliness, directionless, and despair. Like an eager beaver building a dam across a river, many people try to stymy the flow of these emotions. That’s a bad idea. Not only is it detrimental to one’s health, but, such things can make it difficult to move on. If a person wants to cry, it’s important that they let themselves do so. If screaming helps make it all better, then it’s best that they find a sturdy pillow to shout into. They need to get it out of their system. After that, it’s easier to move on.
To thrive after divorce, a person needs to look at it through a completely different lens. Instead of seeing it as something that ruined his or her life, it should be reframed as a chance to flourish. Divorcees should take every available opportunity to better themselves once separation happens. Take a class. Start a new hobby. Do all those things that marriage prevented. In doing so, the divorced will remember one thing: single-life isn’t that bad.
Anybody can make a divorce into a something worth celebrating. It’s not impossible for someone to thrive after divorce. Get out there and try.