Making yourself responsible for your own happiness

It applies to all relationships, but to love interests in particular. In a world of instant satisfaction, and where we expect things to come to us, we have started expecting the same from our relationships. We do besides our partners as they do unto us. For as long as the other person provides love and support, we will do the same. If the other person does something hurtful, we will treat them accordingly.

Our partners become responsible for our happiness and the absence or presence of love in our relationships. In the process, we lose our power, and it becomes an emotional game of Russian roulette. And most often, your relationship will be the loser.

A successful and happy relationship should not be dependent on the other person but on you. Make your partner feel loved, respected, appreciated and worthy, for when you do, they will give you the same things in return. Those things are empowering, and it makes the other person feel good about you.

Great relationships depend on how you make people feel about themselves.

Let's turn the tables for a moment. Imagine how it would feel when someone is critical or judgmental of you. How does it feel? It hurts, so you put up a wall of protection around your heart and also become critical in retaliation. This hurts your partner in return, and he or she becomes more critical of you - the cycle of hurt and conflict starts spiralling out of control, and neither of you acknowledges your roles in the problem. It's always the other person.

The cycle of conflict harms relationships and kills love. It causes deep emotional damage. But the good news is that it can be avoided. A cycle of conflict requires two active participants to survive.

It is up to you to take responsibility for keeping the love alive and for refusing to let the cycle of hurt continue. Let the hurt stop with you by making sure your partner feels loved, respected and appreciated and see what happens.