No relationship can last without communication

No relationship can last without communication. This is one of the most important areas that you must nurture if your relationship is to thrive. The sooner we communicate with our partners about those things that make us unhappy the sooner we can resolve issues before they become bigger and more difficult to sort out.

Don’t forget that communication is a two-way street. It is not just about having your say but is also about actively listening. Hearing your partner out. Listening, not just waiting for your turn to speak. Repeating what they have said so that you are quite sure that you have understood them.

Empathy

People have different views of the world, even those who are in long-term relationships. Taking the time to listen to your partner and trying to appreciate their point of view shows that you are interested in their views, and that respect them enough to give them time to air those views. Don’t let your arguments become bogged down by your inability to listen to your partner's point of view. This does not mean that you have to admit defeat or change your own way of thinking.

Conflict

Conflicts should happen in every relationship. If there is never an argument, there is a strong chance that someone is not airing their views. Conflict properly handled should not end up in a shouting match or a trade of insults. Differences will happen and it is how you manage them that matters. Avoid attacking your partner, and rather speak about how the behaviour which has upset you made you feel. You should try to forgive your partner. An argument can only come to an end when both parties are willing to drop the need to win.

Commitment

From the first date, we should commit ourselves to enjoy the time we have with our partner rather than thinking of what else we could be doing. Long-term relationships take hard work, and it is all about sticking to agreed boundaries, working out solutions to problems together and planning a future together. Without commitment, there can be no future.

Love

According to the Ancient Greeks, there are three types of love

• Eros – erotic love This is the spark that drove you into the arms of your partner, the things that attracted you to him.
• Agape – this type of love is all about putting the welfare of the other person before your own. This is about looking after them when they are ill or giving them that last bit of chocolate when you really wanted it yourself.
• Philios – This is friendship. It is all about enjoying time together sharing and having fun.

All three types of love are a necessary part of a thriving long-term relationship. If even one is missing then you are likely to have problems and should work on the missing component of your relationship. You may need assistance to fix the relationship and this is where couples counselling can help. Give us a call.