When you should resume dating after your divorce
If you were divorced a while back, you might be missing companionship of a significant other. At the same time, you may be somewhat hesitant to get back into a relationship too fast for fear that it may go pear-shaped, again. Feeling this way is natural, even healthy, as you are realising the importance of learning from your past mistakes and the need for entering your future with a fresh perspective.
Experts in the field of marriage and relationships agree that there are no hard and fast rules as to when you should resume dating after your divorce, however, these tips should stand you in good stead.
- Hook up and stay connected to some close friends. Being alone at this time gives you too much time to ponder on what could and could not have been. Don’t bash males as you don’t know which of your friends is going to introduce you to Mr Right.
- Take care of #1 - that’s YOU! You owe it to yourself to treat yourself to a spa, weekend away or any other treat that works for you. Treat yourself well, and you won’t need someone else to do it for you. Thus, you are able to enter a relationship without any co-dependencies.
- Avoid talking about your ex on the first few dates. You want to impress your date by letting him discover who you are. You also want to flatter him by discovering who he is. Leave your ex in the past where he belongs. When, eventually, you do have to mention him, keep it light and contextual.
- Get into the right frame of mind first. If you’re feeling lonely, angry, sad or bitter about your divorce, you need to first deal with your emotions before you go on dates in order to start fresh.
- Build your confidence. Start a new exercise regime, whether it is jogging, yoga or CrossFit. Your body will be flooded with happy hormones and you will burn fat. Your heart will beat faster and you will look and feel great.
- Join some singles groups or activities. They are all in the same boat as you and this is a great way to share, connect and have fun. Who knows, you may just meet your soulmate.
Finally, remember that time heals everything, but you also have to do the work from the inside.
Disclaimer : This article provides basic information only and is not a substitute for a professional or legal advice. It is prudent to obtain legal advice from a family lawyer.