Even though you may have wanted the divorce

You are still likely to experience emotional upheaval and feelings of loss afterwards.You will have doubts about whether it was the right decision or not and may even regret your decision to get divorced.

Divorce is stress just like any other stress and must be managed in the same way. You need to find ways to deal with your emotions and to deflect your feelings so that you can get on with your life. Here are some tips that can help you to recover from your divorce:

• Allow yourself to experience all the emotions associated with the trauma of a divorce. All too often people tend to sweep their feelings under the carpet. This is not a good strategy as these emotions will come back at some time to haunt you. Do not turn to alcohol and drugs as this will only exacerbate the problem. Watch out for any changes in your mood as you may become aggressive and this is not healthy for you or your kids (if you are the sole custodian).
   
• Keep active as this will improve your mood and keep your mind off of the divorce. Physical activity does wonders if you are experiencing feelings of anger.
   
• Look after your emotions. Find a counsellor or a support group so that you can get things off of your chest. Keeping your emotions to yourself is counterproductive to the healing process after a divorce.
   
• Expect nothing from your soon to be ex-spouse. This is the time for both of you to move on with your lives to learn to depend upon yourself from here on in.
   
• Look for ways to nurture your spirit by reading good books, going to the movies and even joining a bridge club or something similar. All of these activities will help to shift the focus away from the divorce and onto something positive and fulfilling. Look to do anything that promotes your feelings of self-worth.
   
• Be circumspect about issues that are beyond your control. Take a step back so that you can deal with the issue without attachment to the outcome. It’s extremely easy to act emotionally and irrationally right after a divorce. Make sure that you are of sound mind so that you make the right decisions.
   
• Allow yourself to have some fun! Find like-minded people to hang out with and even look for new hobbies or interests that will feed your soul. The worst thing you can do is to isolate yourself from the world. This will give you too much time to think, and that can lead to depression. Keep yourself busy so that when you get home at night, you can sleep through the night without worrying about where to next.
   
• Lastly, let it go and move on. You need to forgive your spouse and yourself so that you can live a happy and healthy life. Life is wonderful, and it is time you staked your claim.