Sex brings pleasant stress-relief benefits, but don't be too hasty to pay attention to the warning signs.
If you're a hot-blooded sexual being, you may be missing the intimacy of sex, even with all the stress of divorce in the not-too-distance past. But are you really ready for it? If you've been monogamously married and faithful for five or more years, or even less, you should pay attention to some important facts listed in this article.
Sex with the Ex vs. Seeking a New Partner
If your home life has somewhat settled down, you may find yourself ready to get back into the game. If your ex cheated, you may be seeking validation from a new partner to let you know that you've still "got it". If you haven't had sex for a few years because of a sexless marriage, you may want to explore a bit. You may be looking for a new partner.
Most people prefer to steer away from sex with the ex, as it can cause many complications for you, your partner and your children. However, if you and your partner are both clear on why you're having sex (note, it does not mean getting back together!) it can be a reasonably safe way to safely enjoy the horisontal dance and the intimacy it brings.
Strategy for Safe Post-Divorce Hook-ups
If you've been single for a while, it's likely that your friends have recommended (or even pushed!) for you to sign up for an online dating site. It may seem less scary than blind dates. In a way, it makes it easier to determine whether someone is looking for a fling, or for a new body to add to the freezer in their basement... However, just because someone turns out to look like their profile picture, don't rush into intimate territory just yet.
Safe Sex for Adults
No matter where you found your new target, it is crucial to put your safety first. Here's how:
- Google them before you even agree to meet. Alarm bells should go off if you can't find anything about them online, or if you notice arguments and nasty comments on their social media.
- Don't meet at your home, particularly if you have children.
- Don't meet at a hotel.
- Meet at a public place, such as a restaurant, and pay for a trusted friend to sit at a nearby table, incognito.
- Always use condoms and listen to your first instincts.
You may feel adventurous, and willing to risk some erotic danger, but if you're a parent, you really don't have the right to make that decision, for which your children may pay dearly.
Safe Sex = Online Sex?
A digital dalliance can be great in the sense that you can't fall pregnant or catch an STD. However, there may be other risks.
The hot 24-year old stud may actually be a 70-year old pervert.
He may say he's not married, but how do you really know?
Do you really want to hurt another woman by having cyber sex with her husband?
If you don't sext only when you're sober, your lack of inhibitions may cause you to say things that put you in harm's way.
Be sure to use common sense when you sext. Lapses in discretion can have embarrassing repercussions.
Casual Third Date Sex
Another way around the dilemma is casual sex. After three dates, you probably have a sense of what the person is like, and to determine whether you are mutually attracted. It's probably okay to enjoy some sexy adult time together.
However, you must abide by the safety rules, and protect your children emotionally. Keep your adult fun to weekends when you don't have the kids. Maintain a clear perspective as to the difference between sex and lovemaking and avoid becoming emotionally attached. And never ever bring a casual sex partner into your children's lives.
If you need sex, keep it casual, keep it free and enjoy, but keep your head firmly on your shoulders.
Disclaimer : This article provides basic information only and is not a substitute for a professional or legal advice. It is prudent to obtain legal advice from a family lawyer.