Here are some tips you can follow to make co-parenting work
So, your ex isn’t proving to be cooperative when you are co-parenting. In this situation, even if you do your best, the situation will be tough to handle for your kids and will leave a deep impact on their minds.
Therefore, it is up to you to make co-parenting work. After all, you have control over the time they spend with you and if you can be reassuring and positive, there is a good chance that your ex might not be able to influence your children all that much. The key to success is seeing the positive in every situation and learning from the mistakes you are making.
Here are some tips you can follow to make co-parenting work when your ex isn’t setting the best example:
Admit the Shortcomings
The worst thing you can do in this situation is trying to sweep things under the wrong. If your kids’ father likes to drink a lot, it is possible that he may not be able to connect with them emotionally or spend much time with them. In this situation, your kids will feel hurt and might even say that their father doesn’t love them. You have to explain to them that their father has a few shortcomings but this doesn’t affect the way he feels about them.
Address Their Feelings
Your kids will see and observe all that is going on around them. They may have even bore witness to your relationship deteriorating. You need to acknowledge that they have gone through this experience and address the feelings that they developed as a result. If the feelings are bottled up, it might cause your children to feel insecure and vulnerable. You should provide the security they are looking for.
Avoid Blunt Criticism Your Ex in Front of the Children
It might be tempting to criticize your ex if he isn’t proving cooperative. However, you should avoid badmouthing him in front of the kids. It is better to be the bigger person and keep your feelings to yourself. You don’t have to pretend to love your ex but that doesn’t mean you can be bitter towards him.
If your ex isn’t reliable, it is up to you to be proactive and be prepared should anything not go to plan. For instance, if dad doesn’t show up to pick them up as promised, you should have something in mind that you can do with your kids. Otherwise, your kids will be disappointed with their dad and these feelings can gestate over time.
Praise Your Children and Reward Their Courage
It is never a pleasant experience when kids are being co-parented. They have to go through a lot and it is tough. You should look for opportunities to praise your kids for their courage. Let them find their way out of difficult situations and reward them for their fortitude and patience. This will serve as a valuable life lesson which will really benefit them in the long run.
These are some tips you can follow to make co-parenting work with a difficult ex.
Disclaimer : This article provides basic information only and is not a substitute for a professional or legal advice. It is prudent to obtain legal advice from a family lawyer.