Even though I wanted the divorce, I still experienced a conflict of emotions about my ex.
I was relieved that all the bad stuff was over, but soon made the shocking discovery that I still miss the good parts of the relationship that we once shared. I was wracked with guilt and emotional distress, and for a long time, it held me back from carving a new single life for myself.
Immediately after the divorce was final, I started missing his companionship when going to bed at night.I missed watching our favourite TV shows together. I missed chatting about novels like we used to do. I miss doing the shopping with him and buying our favourite ice-cream afterwards. I won’t lie, I missed the sex, and when I heard our favourite song, I would get pangs of sadness.
As the days turned into weeks and months, we seen approached our first divorce-adversary and I noticed that I became more used to it. I still thought about him every day. I also realised that I had changed my entire life around without realising. Here are some tips about what I did and what you could do too:
- The first thing I did, was to start going to bed earlier. I used to sit up and watched movies with him, but now I did things for me, so I created a routine that worked for me (without him). If you used to chat a lot before retiring to bed, try playing some music or listen to motivational DVDs - anything that makes this ritual different to how it used to be.
Watching our favourite sitcoms without him. You could look for alternative programs or even give TV a break for a while. Even better - go to the movies with a friend.
In full swing of my independence, I started looking for some different authors. This helped me expand my selection of books to read, and I managed to leave those memories where they belong, in the past.
I found that time does heal everything, provided you’re prepared to change. It may seem as though you’re wiping him out of your life for good when you remove all memories of him, but survival is key. Good luck with your new life and remember that you owe it to yourself to build a better life now that you have made the decision to get divorced.
Disclaimer : This article provides basic information only and is not a substitute for a professional or legal advice. It is prudent to obtain legal advice from a family lawyer.