It’s usually much worse if you did not want the divorce and you’re still longing for your wife. As a man, you are expected to take it on the chin and act all strong and brave. However, when you are alone and you have time to think, that is when the pain finally sets in.
The key to recovering from this trauma is to keep yourself occupied. You must do what it takes to avoid depression as depression is a very real disease and it is not easy to get out of a state of depression once you are in it.
While you might never admit it to anyone you are going to feel sad, depressed and all those other ugly emotions that men never admit that they experience. Denying these feelings is not the way to go as you cannot change what you do not acknowledge. Divorce is similar to losing someone to death, you go through the 5 stages of grief.
It’s important to allow yourself to go through these stages so that you come out whole on the other side. Taking baggage to a new relationship will simply cause the new relationship to fail as well.
Find new hobbies to keep you occupied. Start reading, join a poker club, join a bridge club or anything else that takes your fancy. If you get involved in activities that involve other people you will have lots to take your mind off of the divorce.
Start exercising as this has a profound effect on your state of mind. Exercise releases powerful endorphins that make your happy so get on your bike and make it happen. If you already exercise, keep at it, do not stop. Stopping exercising will rob you of the “feel good” feeling and will add a whole pile of guilt that you don’t really need right now.
Get involved in charity work. Giving your time to someone who needs it is a great way to distract yourself from the divorce and it’s an opportunity for you to boost your self-esteem. You will be feeling emotionally low after the divorce and you need to do whatever it takes to boost your self-esteem again.
Forgive yourself, it takes two people to botch a marriage so let your ex-carry her share of the blame. There is nothing wrong with you personally, the marriage did not work out because your two personalities did not gel.
Take some time before “getting back in the saddle”. don’t jump into the first relationship that comes from. Rebound romances rarely work out so take your time. By all means date but take time to discover each other and make sure that this time you have found the perfect partner for you.