Coping with divorce can be difficult as you will go through a myriad of emotions.

When I first got divorced, I noticed how some women like to spend every minute of the day hating and sending their ex-bad vibes. I was tempted once or twice, but then my aunt spoke to some sense into my head. She said that I would only drive myself crazy doing it, and she gave me the following advice:

Here are some popular thoughts and emotions that you may have and how to deal with them:

• Don’t spend time trying to tell yourself that you hate your ex. Hate is a strong emotion and only gives him power. Wish him well, and life will be well for you. Remember, you should give away that which you already seek. Right now, you are after some joy, peace and happiness, so send him some and watch how your life improves.
• Enjoy the alone time when the kids are with him. You owe it to yourself to pamper yourself, and this could be the perfect opportunity to do so.
• Don’t shy away from other men forever. Take your time to get over your ex, but then hop back on the bicycle. Not all men are the same, and neither are relationships. There is a prince out there waiting for you.
• Forget about what your ex-thinks and feels about your or your past relationship. Move on and create the life of your dreams for yourself.

You had both good and bad times during your marriage. Accept them for what they were and look forward. You cannot change the past, but you can change the future.

Do not involve the kids in your divorce or your relationship as co-parents. Children will love each parent unconditionally, and you need to allow them space and environment to do so.

Stop focusing on what your life has become as result of your marriage and divorce. Use it as an opportunity to grow and move on. If you made any mistakes during the marriage, learn from them and make sure you don’t take them with you into the next relationship or marriage.

A well-known TV personality always used to say “You should earn your way out of a divorce”, in other words, never get divorced if you still have unfinished baggage as this will merely end up in your new marriage and you will be back to square one in no time.