Divorce turns a person’s life upside down. Once those divorce papers are signed, and the separation finalised, the very definition of one’s self can be left in as many pieces like broken glass. People in the midst of a separation, especially one that’s sudden or unexpected, often feel lost.
It’s key that an individual in this situation not allow themselves to be overwhelmed by anxiety, depression, or a lack of purpose. Instead, they must focus on quickly gaining control of their future and finding ways to get their life back on track. Using these tips can help anyone do those right and do it quickly.
Whether it's finding the way to a new restaurant or the nearest gas station, people rely on programs like Google Maps and MapQuest to find the way. Just like a cellphone, or a compass, people possess an innate sense of direction guided by their goals and desires. By investing one’s life into one’s marriage, that inner compass becomes guided less by inner wants and more by the vows of matrimony. The idea of being a good spouse and partner eventually comes to serve as a person’s true north. All decisions made, career-oriented or even personal, will be weighed upon the answer to one question: “Is this right for my marriage?”
Once that question becomes invalid, any sense of direction goes out the window. But, hope isn’t lost. A person can piece together the splintered remains of their compass and rediscover their path forward.
“What do I do now?”, That question bounces around the brains of the newly divorced like a ball in a pinball machine. Feelings of anxiety and being overwhelmed commonly result. People feel lost because of their vision of the future, one that involved growing happy and comfortable with their spouse, is suddenly a frightening haze of the unknown. Answering that question, and doing so clearly, is what truly allows people to move forward.
Life after divorce is a maelstrom of confusion, court, and drama. However, it’s when things seem the bleakest that a person must take a step back and ask him or herself: “Where do I want to be? How do I envision my future?” By having a new end destination in mind, it’s easy to plan what steps to take. The future becomes less frightening, and, perhaps, a bit less stressful. It’s key that the person involved finding something that brings him or her happiness. In this situation, getting stuck on autopilot is the worst thing a person can do.
Finding a new vision for life doesn’t necessarily involve meditating on the highest mountain top or joining a clandestine cult. It can be as simple as answering three questions:
That’s easy enough, huh? By verbalizing inner desires, a person allows themselves to picture a place beyond the here and now. A trip to Google can help people learn how to better define goals. Examples might include planning ways to become happier or more confident.
The things that stop someone from achieving his or her vision are rarely mountains. Instead, these items are the aspects of the daily grind that slow people down. It’s key that an individual uncovers these obstacles before they slow his or her progress. Could it be a low sense of self-esteem or an overwhelming sense of loneliness stopping you from moving forward? Write these things down, read them, and move on to the third, and final, question.
Chill. This doesn’t mean planning life out like a chess master. All a person needs at this stage are a set of simple steps that can be taken immediately. This can include things like removing a spouse’s belongings from home, beginning therapy, or rearranging the furniture.
Taking the time to plan one’s life after divorce helps set a clearer vision for the future. Following the steps above can make it easy to thrive after a marriage ends. Once a destination is set, after all, it’s much more difficult to stop someone from getting there.