This age-old debate has no winners and no losers.
While conservative people will tell you that children need both a male and female role in their lives, this is not necessarily backed up by scientific research. There is, however, research indicating that children who are reared by two mothers are just as likely to become well-functioning adults as those children who are raised by a mother and father.
While two females can offer a child double nurturing and love, certain schools of thought believe that children also need a father figure in their lives, and the opposite would also therefore apply. It also brings to the table a range of other issues with extended family dynamics.
However, if both parents are loving, nurturing and focused on the child’s mental, physical and emotional well-being and bringing as much balance as possible to every aspect of the child’s life, that should be fine.
Kelly shares her story about parenting her baby and that of her female life partner, in this candid post about same-sex parenting. It is important to consider those challenges, and whether both you and your partner will be up to supporting your child through it all while maintaining your relationship.
That is not to say that traditional families don’t have their own challenges. After all, more traditional marriages break down than same-sex marriages.
The Single Parent Perspective
While many children have been successfully raised by single parents, it takes sperm and an egg to make the miracle of pregnancy happen. Therefore, philosophy implies that children need both Mom and Dad in order to get the best start in life.
Children learn different things from each parent and therefore, parents should do what they can to stay together, or if they can’t, to prioritise the best interests of the kids when it comes to relationship breakdown. Unfortunately, in the case of divorce, a high percentage of parents make themselves guilty of these 10 mistakes that are not in the child’s best interest.
Children need to aspire to do what their parents did and that is finding a partner to love and to have children with. Are we setting the healthiest example possible?
The family dynamic is important if a family is to enjoy a happy, fulfilled life together, and the marriage situation should be one that is healthy for the child to be exposed to. While children are tenacious and can survive all kinds of odds, it may have come at a price that we are not aware of. How many of these children have had to attend counselling when they are adults simply because they could not deal with their childhood?
At school, children can be nasty and tease other kids at school because they have two mommies or two daddies or only one parent. Then again, children are also treated differently because parents are divorced. It is said that children blame themselves if something goes wrong in the family.
I guess we have all heard a child ask for a divorce “But does Daddy / Mommy not love me anymore?”. Children are known to be narcissistic, in that they think everything that happens in their lives, is their fault or affects them most deeply.
Crippled people can get by with one arm or one leg, but they would sooner have both. Children can get by with a different or alternative lifestyle, but they would sooner be just like most of the other kids at school.
Remember, a child is not something to fit around your lifestyle. Instead, you have to fit your lifestyle around what is your most important priority (not an accessory!) - your child. It is easy to rush into a marriage or relationship and have children, but it is just as easy for us adults to terminate those relationships, with little regard for the children.
Disclaimer : This article provides basic information only and is not a substitute for a professional or legal advice. It is prudent to obtain legal advice from a family lawyer.