You can expect to go through the five stages of grief namely, denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. How soon this happens is up to you. People react to the trauma of divorce in different ways, and the key is to make sure you get this transitionary phase in one piece.
Understand that this too will pass. You won’t be stuck in these five stages forever; you will move steadily through each of them and eventually be able to function normally. While some women dive straight back into a relationship, this is not always the best strategy.
You need to take time to consolidate your emotions and get rid of any baggage that still exists from your previous marriage. In a perfect world, people should not get divorced until they have freed themselves from any baggage. This means leaving all the bad stuff from your old marriage behind you. Taking your baggage into a new relationship will result in the same old issues with a new person.
This is the time to regroup and find yourself. Get to know yourself again as you have been so busy being a wife and a mom that you have probably lost sight of who you are. If you are feeling lonely, join a divorce support group.
A support group is an ideal forum for you to share your feelings and for others to share with you. You can get rid of your anger and frustrations via the group and be a sounding board for other members of the group to do the same. It’s also a great way to distract you from your issues while you listen to and support other members in the group.
Another good strategy is to join a fun group such as a book or bridge club. Both of these forums offer you the chance to socialise with people and to take your mind off the emotions that you are currently experiencing. You will have some new interests, and you will meet new people, two of the best ways to help you deal with the loss that divorce causes you to feel.
Take one day at a time and be strong in the knowledge that it will pass. Time heals everything including a divorce. You and your ex-were obviously not meant to be and there is a better life for both of you. Let go of all the baggage, forgive him so that you can move on. Remember, you don’t forgive him for his sakes, you forgive him so that you can move on.