An age-old question that men and women have different feelings about. Most men see sex as a means to an end that does not have to involve emotions. Women, on the other hand, need to have emotional feelings for a man before bedding him. Being a man myself, I concur that we can have meaningless sex and forget it about by the time we zipped our zippers up. The challenge is that our wives and children do not see things like that and sadly they are affected negatively by our infidelity.
As relationships evolve, priorities for women seem to change. They become more responsible and serious about their careers or have children, and this seems to shift their focus. The men in their lives no longer feature as the centre of attention. Men, on the other hand, are still children at heart and still want to have fun and party.
This can cause the best of couples to drift, and this is where infidelity can step into the relationship. Men can sow their wild oats and still come home to the wife and children. As this scenario takes place, women tend to withdraw into themselves, and the cracks in the relationship start to appear.
The danger to the relationship is if the woman has an affair. Remember, she is looking for love, not a good time. This means she is going to develop feelings for her new beau and that can cause all sorts of problems. She is now in a situation where she is unhappily married, has a career in content with, children and a husband who is cheating on her, so she’s actively seeking love elsewhere.
In the husband's case, life goes on. He still does his work, comes home to the family and has his fun on the side. He does not get himself emotionally involved. He is there to fulfil his duties and have as much fun as possible without getting caught. On the face of it, it sounds like this marriage can withstand the pressure of infidelity, but this is not necessarily the case...
Children are adept at detecting when something is amiss. They will notice the strain between Mom and Dad this can cause them to act up, thereby placing even more strain on the marriage. The wife will certainly become a lot more feisty and or miserable as the affair progresses, and her hubby continues with his shenanigans.
A divorce might seem like the obvious step to the above-mentioned tragedy. However, this only perpetuates the drama further. The wife will still have her kids and her career to contend with, and at some point, this will frustrate the new love in her life. The husband could get married again and end up in the same situation. His new wife could have children and a career and also get wrapped up in her problems once the honeymoon phase is over. In other words, this is the cycle of life as it applies to marriages.
My personal feeling is that couples should strive to make the relationship work with what they have got. Workaround the careers, kids, social functions and whatever else is on the table. Failing this, the man and women will spend their lives repeating this cycle, and the collateral damage will accrue along the way.