when my husband allowed circumstances to change our relationship, i had to keep my dreams alive.
shape up or ship out: building a life despite tough times
If you are struggling to cope with life right now, then keep on reading. I will never forget the day when I finally kicked my no-good husband out and started to carve a life for myself and my little boy, Jason.
When I first met him, my ex-husband, Nick was the most driven and successful person I had ever met. In fact, I was concerned that his drive for success would actually deprive Jason and me of a loving father and husband.
Despite all of Nick’s efforts, drive, creativity and hard work, his business eventually went under. Nick had to file for bankruptcy and that is when our lives took a turn for the worst. Nick lost all drive and ambition and he became the laziest, most cynical person to ever walk the the earth.
When we first met, he was a recreational gambler and he used to win quite a bit of money. Now that we were broke and destitute, he spent every cent he could lay his hands on betting on the ponies. The problem with gambling when you are desperate, is that you hardly, if ever win - at least that was the case here.
Nick lost money and also started drinking excessively. Some of our friends and family members would give us money to help pay the rent and buy food and Nick would simply blow it on booze and the ponies.
He basically turned into a no good lazy bum who spent his life drinking, gambling and doing as little productive work as possible. He was no longer the man I married.
While I could write forever on Nick’s failures, but that is not really the purpose of this post...
I want to share with you the importance of self belief and the motivation to keep moving forward. Just prior to Nick leaving us, we were standing on the grounds of a shelter for homeless people.
Thankfully, I refused to stay there and Nick managed to get a friend of his to put us up. I found a freelance online gig and saw this as a way to try forge some kind of a future for Nick, Jason and myself.
A week later, I kicked Nick out and still arranged for Jason and me to stay with Paul (Jason’s friend), whose kindness and I repaid by cooking, cleaning and washing dishes. I juggled this with homeschooling Jason and doing my freelance gig.
A few months later I was earning enough to go out on my own with Jason. We moved to Perth, and I managed to pay the bills and feed Jason and myself. Today, Jason and I live happily together.
I still homeschool him and work online around our schedule. As I have gained experience, I have been able to increase my rates and we are now starting to enjoy some of life’s luxuries.
I want to say that I never would have believed that this would be possible back then. I did, however, get up every morning with the right attitude and did what I had to do.
I trusted the process and life looked after me. This can happen for you too, if only you make the right choices and you keep on pushing for what you want.
Disclaimer: Please note that names of people, places and other personally identifiable information have been changed to protect the privacy of the author and her family.
Disclaimer : This article provides basic information only and is not a substitute for a professional or legal advice. It is prudent to obtain legal advice from a family lawyer.