Certain things will happen them to or not

There are many relationships that have tensions, struggles, even despair at times. Yet couples find ways to resolve those struggles. You may have been to marriage counseling or individual therapy to save your marriage. If those strategies (whatever they have been) do not ultimately salvage the relationship and you do decide to divorce, you need to realise what a significant step it is.

Once you or your spouse have made the decision to go ahead the divorce, certain events occur whether you want them to or not. It is an extremely stressful phase and to ensure you emerge from this process in as good a shape as you can, you need to pay attention to what you are doing, how you prioritise your activities and what goals you set for yourself in the immediate future and beyond.

When the decision is first made, you may feel that the best way to proceed is to have a dramatic change and ‘sweep clean’ the whole life you and your spouse have built together. But a word of caution. Avoid any dramatic change unless absolutely necessary. Avoid trying to do everything at once. Organise your time so that you do things in small, manageable chunks. Create a set period each day when you do something relaxing. Pay more attention to your needs and to those of your children.

Prior to hiring a lawyer, prior to making other significant decisions that will affect your livelihood and your family’s livelihood forever. You will need to gather a lot of information to put things into place and make decisions in the next short while.

For example, you will probably be going in for your first meeting with your lawyer. You will need to gather detailed information to present to your lawyers or, later, the courts.

And of course, you should take the time to spell out for yourself exactly what it is you are after in this huge life-changing event.