Most mothers adore their children and that’s the way it should be. We should, however, not become obsessional about our kids. We do socialize with other adults who are not parents and they do not want to spend every moment with you discussing our children. If you don’t vary the topics that you discuss with other adults, you are sure to find yourself to be one very lonely mommy.
I speak from experience as this happened to me after I divorced Matthew, my ex-husband. Matthew is a great guy, we just could not connect on any level. We have different interests and simply have nothing to talk about or anything to connect with. I guess that what happens if you marry while in the throes of a sexually explosive whirlwind romance…
Since James was born, I was besotted with him and could not stop talking about him. Matthew, on the other hand, is into his sports, work and trading shares. Kids are the furthest thing from his mind. He did try to indulge me and pretend to listen to me when I spoke about James.
We eventually decided to part ways amicably and I got full custody. Matthew does still collect him to stay with him for weekends, but I no longer have the luxury of bending Matthew’s ear about all the cute things our son did at school that day.
I connected with other moms at school, feeling confident that they would love to spend time discussing their kids. Wow! Was I in a for a rude shock! These moms prefer to talk about their latest hairdos, which gym has the sexiest instructors and why they hate their husbands... Talking about children does not even feature on the list. Many of them have hired nannies who fulfil the role of “Mommy” and I cannot access these fine people to talk to about my obsession - James. One by one, these moms made excuses about why they can no longer socialize with me and I soon found myself on my own.
I have since had to find some other interests besides my amazing son. I have taken to reading books, started an online business and go to a gym 3x a week. I have met some females at the gym and have learned to chat to them about the books I read, movies and great recipes. These moms have taken to me and I once again get to enjoy some adult company.
Inside I feel like a rehabilitated drug addict who is too scared to tell people the truth about my past. I scarcely talk about James and keep any discussions about him confined to his granny ( my mom).
The good news is that as James becomes older, he and I will have more in common to talk about. We can become best friends who love each other unconditionally and share the same interests - each other!
This boy is still my world and I have learned to keep a lid on my enthusiasm and love for him. I love his smile when he comes home from school and the big hug he gives me when he retires to bed at night. This is our secret though and I promise not tell anyone about it... ;)
Disclaimer: Please note that names of people, places and other personally identifiable information have been changed to protect the privacy of the author and her family.